“After Nareth, it's real important we don’t lose another like that. Tha Huntress walked tha path on purpose. I can deal with that, as bitter tha thought is that I couldn’t bring her back,” Grr said seriously.
“I don't want to lose Abi, either,” I replied, “But she thinks she is a parasite…because of what I said to her.”
Grr seemed lost in thought. “In tha end, I saw it was her own path.” He wasn’t talking about Abi any more. He was reliving his failure to help Nareth. “If she had wanted ta Cross, I woulda taken her to tha Wide River, but, she peferred tha Nothin…and then, tha Boit, and then, more Nothin….I'd have carried her across, its an old duty, but, I woulda, ya both have ta believe me, if she had wanted ta Cross…”
Lorne Harlequin silently gazed at us, and then shook His head at Grr. “You’ll remember meeting the Raven once when We spoke. I understand.” I didn’t understand what they meant. Raven, the eater of the eyes of the dead, a Trickster who delights in tricking others into doing something for him they may not actually want to do, something that may cost them dearly. I couldn’t grasp what Raven had to do with GrrBrool.
“Exactly,” Grr said quietly. “But I got ta help tha passin, from It ta tha Bot, at least, ta make that end, so, that’s something….”
Lorne looked somehow profoundly tired, a slight hint of reverberance as He spoke in a voice that may as well have been made of sand and stone. “It's a cruel love to have, taking everyone you ever care for to...away.”
“Well, point is, Lorne, if tha Little One is stuck, and she don’t know she's stuck, because she's beatin her self up….”
Lorne continued to speaking, barely acknowledging Grr’s words, as if He were speaking through us, His words distant. "And you...who have not dispensation to go...She knows.” He paused for a moment, blinking out of His distance. “I can take you to her. Ties that bind, and all that,” He said with a defeated smile.
“You would take us to her?” I stammered.
“Though I would insist it wait for a window of receptivity,” Lorne nodded. “I can't imagine you would object.”
Showing posts with label Abi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abi. Show all posts
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Little Girl Lost
I folded my arms across my chest, the Hazmat suit making a slight metal-on-metal sound. “While you are here, Lorne, I probably should talk with you about Abi. She's still missing.”
Lorne nodded “Yes. Last I saw her she had herself suspended in a cage by hooks. I attempted to tutor her on the details of the mod equivalence relation,” he explained.
“Ya know, Lorne, Spirit Gal here and Bright Gal went huntin fer yer pup,” Grr began. “Tha Maker contracted ta take em to her. The dumped Spirit Gal in Dream.”
“The Maker?” Lorne asked.
“Severus,” I replied. “The Incubus. He and I had a disagreement, you might say.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Grr apologized.
Lorne smirked, His lips curling from closed to exposing His teeth. “Ah. The whore, yes.”
Grr went on. “He says he was just a step to tha side on tha path, but when they didn’t come back, and I took a jaunt myself, I found Spirit Gal all alone and asleep in Dream.” Grr gave a canine frown. “Even I know ya dont go ta sleep in Dream…that’s fucked up.”
I nodded. “When I wouldn't…when I didn't...well…at any rate, he let go of my hand. That's the last thing I remember, until I felt Grr's teeth in my shoulder. He didn't break skin, thank goodness.”
Grr shook his head up and down, “Well, no hands….” He’d been in his native form, a pure coyote.
“But we didn't find her,” I continued. “Although Severus says his contract isn't complete, that he'll go back until we do, I'm…a little uncertain of his methods. And Abi may need some persuasion. She doesn't understand about…the need for an equal exchange. She thinks there’s something wrong with her.”
Lorne nodded slightly, then shook His head. “Indeed. I can just imagine poor, poor Severus enduring the guilt of having caused you to lose your mind into a perpetual limbo state.” Lorne wrapped His arms round Himself, and began rocking back and forth, affecting a high-pitched, mocking tone "Boo. Boo hoo. I'm such a horrible, dirty, broken widdle pawn.” He motioned as though He was shying away from someone's touch "No. No. Don't try and comfort me.”
“Oh, ya HAVE met tha Maker,” Grr said.
“So I have, yes,” Lorne nodded. “Not the first Incubus to employ the tired technique of open self-loathing.”
“But thing is, Lorne, yer Pup is still locked up. Maybe its doin her good, maybe she’s in torment fer no reason,” Grr replied.
Lorne nodded again, his face becoming a bit more somber. “There is a problem in that this exile is ultimately self-imposed.” He gave a thoughtful sigh. “I spoke with her. She believes she cannot love. There is a lesson one must learn before they can love any other.”
“And what is that?” I asked quietly.
Lorne looked at me evenly. “Before you may truly love another you must learn to love yourself....”
Lorne nodded “Yes. Last I saw her she had herself suspended in a cage by hooks. I attempted to tutor her on the details of the mod equivalence relation,” he explained.
“Ya know, Lorne, Spirit Gal here and Bright Gal went huntin fer yer pup,” Grr began. “Tha Maker contracted ta take em to her. The dumped Spirit Gal in Dream.”
“The Maker?” Lorne asked.
“Severus,” I replied. “The Incubus. He and I had a disagreement, you might say.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Grr apologized.
Lorne smirked, His lips curling from closed to exposing His teeth. “Ah. The whore, yes.”
Grr went on. “He says he was just a step to tha side on tha path, but when they didn’t come back, and I took a jaunt myself, I found Spirit Gal all alone and asleep in Dream.” Grr gave a canine frown. “Even I know ya dont go ta sleep in Dream…that’s fucked up.”
I nodded. “When I wouldn't…when I didn't...well…at any rate, he let go of my hand. That's the last thing I remember, until I felt Grr's teeth in my shoulder. He didn't break skin, thank goodness.”
Grr shook his head up and down, “Well, no hands….” He’d been in his native form, a pure coyote.
“But we didn't find her,” I continued. “Although Severus says his contract isn't complete, that he'll go back until we do, I'm…a little uncertain of his methods. And Abi may need some persuasion. She doesn't understand about…the need for an equal exchange. She thinks there’s something wrong with her.”
Lorne nodded slightly, then shook His head. “Indeed. I can just imagine poor, poor Severus enduring the guilt of having caused you to lose your mind into a perpetual limbo state.” Lorne wrapped His arms round Himself, and began rocking back and forth, affecting a high-pitched, mocking tone "Boo. Boo hoo. I'm such a horrible, dirty, broken widdle pawn.” He motioned as though He was shying away from someone's touch "No. No. Don't try and comfort me.”
“Oh, ya HAVE met tha Maker,” Grr said.
“So I have, yes,” Lorne nodded. “Not the first Incubus to employ the tired technique of open self-loathing.”
“But thing is, Lorne, yer Pup is still locked up. Maybe its doin her good, maybe she’s in torment fer no reason,” Grr replied.
Lorne nodded again, his face becoming a bit more somber. “There is a problem in that this exile is ultimately self-imposed.” He gave a thoughtful sigh. “I spoke with her. She believes she cannot love. There is a lesson one must learn before they can love any other.”
“And what is that?” I asked quietly.
Lorne looked at me evenly. “Before you may truly love another you must learn to love yourself....”
Monday, October 13, 2008
He Walks in Dreams
Severus stepped out of a shadow-shrouded portal into the Library, a seeping, bone-numbing coldness following him. He glowered, and then slammed the portal behind him with a vacuum-like sucking. As he turned to glance outside at the pouring rain and the rising floodwaters, he sighed heavily. Faye’Li and I were watching the rain-swollen streets, too, but she was pacing up and down the stairs, looking out every window, while I stood still in front of the hearth, close to GrrBrool and a sleeping Brit.
“I dun tink I'll be able to sleep if I see fish or bodies swimming by da windows,” Faye’Li sighed.
“Feel better fer tha little walk?” Grrbrool asked, referring to Faye’Li’s constant pacing. “Ya'll be awright, Messenger, we got…contingency plans. Heh.”
Faye'Li frowned. “I'm going to learn 'ow to swim when dis is over, Grr.”
“It doesn't matter, Faye’Li,” I replied. “In a flood, it isn't safe to swim.
Debris, toxins…bloated, decomposing bodies…the current….” I could hear Brit begin to breathe in slower, easier breaths. She snuggled under the cape she was wearing, using Grr like a pillow. Only her red hair could really be seen. I tried to catch Faye’Li’s eye. “It will be fine. The Institute is always prepared. And the Library protects its own.”
Faye'Li bit her lip, “I’m sorry. Just 'aven't been in a flood before.” Severus slowly arched a brow at her words, pale eyes shifting about.
Grr wrapped an arm around Brit as he shifted slightly toward Severus. “G'day Maker, heard tha news? Damp outside, and tha locks are off tha weapons lockers.” Upstairs, Blake and his companion had grown silent. His nose was buried in a book although I knew he was carefully listening.
Severus inclined his head slightly. “So I saw...yet another flood,” he muttered, his deep tone bitter. “Don’t have anything to lose this time.” I turned from gazing out the window to watch Severus, studying his appearance. He seemed himself. Not like I saw him last, pale as bone, his eyes lifeless, a scythe in hand.
Faye'Li Vidae looked over. "Ah welcome back monsieur." For a moment, she seemed somewhat relieved before thoughts of the water outside came back to her.
Severus shrugged his broad shoulders slightly, not really acknowledging the welcome. For Severus, the Omega Institute is not family. His own was lost to him in the Great Flood: his wife, his children, and his freedom. He had been like an angel; now he was of the damned. Yet…he stayed with us. He aided us, although there was always a price to be paid for his efforts.
Grr snuggled with Brit, leaning close to let her feel his radiant body heat, almost hot to the touch himself. Brit continued to sleep peacefully, hugging Grr as if he were a giant teddy bear. Severus’s intense pale eyes shifted over, meeting mine.
“Severus,” I began as I walked toward him, “Why….” I bit my lip, thought better of asking, and stopped.
Severus slowly arched a brow. “Why what?” he muttered tersely.
“Why…why did you leave me, Severus…leave me there in the Dreaming?”
Severus scowled blackly. “I didn’t. You...left me...I merely released you to sleep for a time. I never abandoned you. I'm contracted.”
“But I was…lost.” I pressed on. “Where did you go? You weren't there when Faye'Li and Grr came for me.” Grr nodded quietly.
“I was a few feet away from you on the path, Joah.” Severus narrowed his eyes. “You merely drifted in sleep.”
I lowered my eyes to the floor to hide my anger at having been left behind, struggling to speak without emotion. “We didn't see you. None of us did.”
Severus shrugged slightly. “You don’t know the laws of the path to the Dreaming. They weren’t brought or guided by me. Of course they wouldn’t see.” Faye’Li stood looking between the two of us, watching.
I raised my eyes, meeting Severus's, exasperated by his obstinacy. "She's still there."
“Larissa you mean?” he said nonchalantly.
“No,” I replied. “Abi.”
Severus nodded slowly. “Yes, yes she is...my contract remains incomplete.”
“And will you . . . complete it?” I asked.
“I can’t until you join Larissa again,” Severus shrugged. “You are in my contract. However, Grr offered another option…perhaps if my methods are so unfavorable, you should take it.” I glanced at Grr. His golden eyes met mine, but he didn’t speak. He knew this battle was between the incubus and me.
I drew closer to Severus…not touching him…never touching his skin, but closer. “I rode with you,” I said quietly, my anger rising.
“You what?” Severus uttered flatly.
“You were Death,” I whispered. “On a pale green horse, Severus. You pulled me up behind you…and I rode with you.”
“Death?” asked Faye'Li in a puzzled voice.
“Not exactly my kind of dream....” Severus muttered dryly. “Are you certain you don’t have any strange riding fetishes?”
And that was it. My temper exploded as I lunged across the space between us, grasping one of the spikes in Severus’ wrist. “You pulled me up behind you,” I spat. “Where were you going? Where were you taking me?”
Severus hissed through clenched teeth, pale eyes blazing as he wrenched his wrist from my grasp, the spike grinding against bone as his black blood began to seep through the open wound. I don’t know, damn you! They are your blasted dreams,” he snapped acidly through clenched fangs.
“You were in them,” Joah I said tightly.
Faye'Li looked at Severus and back to me, “What…does it mean?”
I whirled around. “Ask him. He's the one who walks the planes. Not I.”
“I don’t know what it means, Joah.” Severus growled low as he clutched his spike-pierced wrist to his chest, his black blood seeping down his arm sluggishly. “I simply don’t have the control I once did...I must be drifting through dreams,” he muttered, his deep tone terse.
“Yet you still do not feed…” I said, chagrined.
Severus shook his white-maned head slightly. “And I will not,” he said bitterly, continuing to rub his-spike impaled forearm.
I could only turn and walk away.
See Abi, lost in the Dream World.
Read about Blue's visit to Abi.
Read about Grr and Faye'Li rescuing Joah.
“I dun tink I'll be able to sleep if I see fish or bodies swimming by da windows,” Faye’Li sighed.
“Feel better fer tha little walk?” Grrbrool asked, referring to Faye’Li’s constant pacing. “Ya'll be awright, Messenger, we got…contingency plans. Heh.”
Faye'Li frowned. “I'm going to learn 'ow to swim when dis is over, Grr.”
“It doesn't matter, Faye’Li,” I replied. “In a flood, it isn't safe to swim.
Debris, toxins…bloated, decomposing bodies…the current….” I could hear Brit begin to breathe in slower, easier breaths. She snuggled under the cape she was wearing, using Grr like a pillow. Only her red hair could really be seen. I tried to catch Faye’Li’s eye. “It will be fine. The Institute is always prepared. And the Library protects its own.”
Faye'Li bit her lip, “I’m sorry. Just 'aven't been in a flood before.” Severus slowly arched a brow at her words, pale eyes shifting about.
Grr wrapped an arm around Brit as he shifted slightly toward Severus. “G'day Maker, heard tha news? Damp outside, and tha locks are off tha weapons lockers.” Upstairs, Blake and his companion had grown silent. His nose was buried in a book although I knew he was carefully listening.
Severus inclined his head slightly. “So I saw...yet another flood,” he muttered, his deep tone bitter. “Don’t have anything to lose this time.” I turned from gazing out the window to watch Severus, studying his appearance. He seemed himself. Not like I saw him last, pale as bone, his eyes lifeless, a scythe in hand.
Faye'Li Vidae looked over. "Ah welcome back monsieur." For a moment, she seemed somewhat relieved before thoughts of the water outside came back to her.
Severus shrugged his broad shoulders slightly, not really acknowledging the welcome. For Severus, the Omega Institute is not family. His own was lost to him in the Great Flood: his wife, his children, and his freedom. He had been like an angel; now he was of the damned. Yet…he stayed with us. He aided us, although there was always a price to be paid for his efforts.
Grr snuggled with Brit, leaning close to let her feel his radiant body heat, almost hot to the touch himself. Brit continued to sleep peacefully, hugging Grr as if he were a giant teddy bear. Severus’s intense pale eyes shifted over, meeting mine.
“Severus,” I began as I walked toward him, “Why….” I bit my lip, thought better of asking, and stopped.
Severus slowly arched a brow. “Why what?” he muttered tersely.
“Why…why did you leave me, Severus…leave me there in the Dreaming?”
Severus scowled blackly. “I didn’t. You...left me...I merely released you to sleep for a time. I never abandoned you. I'm contracted.”
“But I was…lost.” I pressed on. “Where did you go? You weren't there when Faye'Li and Grr came for me.” Grr nodded quietly.
“I was a few feet away from you on the path, Joah.” Severus narrowed his eyes. “You merely drifted in sleep.”
I lowered my eyes to the floor to hide my anger at having been left behind, struggling to speak without emotion. “We didn't see you. None of us did.”
Severus shrugged slightly. “You don’t know the laws of the path to the Dreaming. They weren’t brought or guided by me. Of course they wouldn’t see.” Faye’Li stood looking between the two of us, watching.
I raised my eyes, meeting Severus's, exasperated by his obstinacy. "She's still there."
“Larissa you mean?” he said nonchalantly.
“No,” I replied. “Abi.”
Severus nodded slowly. “Yes, yes she is...my contract remains incomplete.”
“And will you . . . complete it?” I asked.
“I can’t until you join Larissa again,” Severus shrugged. “You are in my contract. However, Grr offered another option…perhaps if my methods are so unfavorable, you should take it.” I glanced at Grr. His golden eyes met mine, but he didn’t speak. He knew this battle was between the incubus and me.
I drew closer to Severus…not touching him…never touching his skin, but closer. “I rode with you,” I said quietly, my anger rising.
“You what?” Severus uttered flatly.
“You were Death,” I whispered. “On a pale green horse, Severus. You pulled me up behind you…and I rode with you.”
“Death?” asked Faye'Li in a puzzled voice.
“Not exactly my kind of dream....” Severus muttered dryly. “Are you certain you don’t have any strange riding fetishes?”
And that was it. My temper exploded as I lunged across the space between us, grasping one of the spikes in Severus’ wrist. “You pulled me up behind you,” I spat. “Where were you going? Where were you taking me?”
Severus hissed through clenched teeth, pale eyes blazing as he wrenched his wrist from my grasp, the spike grinding against bone as his black blood began to seep through the open wound. I don’t know, damn you! They are your blasted dreams,” he snapped acidly through clenched fangs.
“You were in them,” Joah I said tightly.
Faye'Li looked at Severus and back to me, “What…does it mean?”
I whirled around. “Ask him. He's the one who walks the planes. Not I.”
“I don’t know what it means, Joah.” Severus growled low as he clutched his spike-pierced wrist to his chest, his black blood seeping down his arm sluggishly. “I simply don’t have the control I once did...I must be drifting through dreams,” he muttered, his deep tone terse.
“Yet you still do not feed…” I said, chagrined.
Severus shook his white-maned head slightly. “And I will not,” he said bitterly, continuing to rub his-spike impaled forearm.
I could only turn and walk away.
See Abi, lost in the Dream World.
Read about Blue's visit to Abi.
Read about Grr and Faye'Li rescuing Joah.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A more equal exchange
I sat staring out the window from my chair, looking quietly at the rain when I heard GrrBrool’s padding steps. I glanced up at the banister, where he stood giving me a canine smile.
“Hello there, Spirit Gal…quiet night?”
“Quiet?” I replied. “No...not exactly. Abi's still missing.”
Grr nodded thoughtfully. “Locked in a punishment realm…some dream realm…or both.”
“What makes you say a punishment realm?” I asked.
“Cages, chains, no eyeballs…sounds pretty punishmenty ta me,” Grr sighed, walking down the stairs to the drawing room. “That and apparently she said it was punishment.”
My eyes widened with surprise. “You've…talked with her?”
Grr shook his head. “No. Blue of all people. Came in and wanted ta help. How’s that fer screwy?”
I couldn’t help smiling, thinking of Blue and our improbable friendship, formed over a shared bottle of vodka. She’d broken more bones and tortured more people than I cared to count…and her blood had poisoned Grr…yet some indefinable bond drew us together. Grr’s eyes sought mine.
“You like her, dontcha?” Grr smiled.
“I do,” I nodded. Thinking again of Abi, I focused my attention on the lycan. “Grr, Severus is going to take us to Abi. He won't take a price,” I murmured. “Lar would give it freely, but he won't take it. He chooses punishment instead. He won't…let us stand with him in that, either. But he will take us.”
Grr wheeled about at my words. “Really? Fuck.” He began scowling. “Fuck. I should just yank her myself…Fuck tha risk.”
“I'm not sure that you can, Grr,” I sighed. “There is…a Magician…” I looked up from my cushion to see Omega suddenly still before the hearth. Her red hair gleamed in the firelight. She stood regally in blood red corset dress, the bodice overlayed with beadwork, and ribbons cinching up her waist.
“Yer Ladyship.” Grr gave a slight bow. I nodded a greeting, relief washing over me at Omega’s arrival. Grr turned back, speaking to me. “I'd not count on that, Spirit Gal.” Grr walks to the Other place, between the planes and among them. I had no doubt he could go after Abi. Whether he would return whole was another matter.
“Grr,” I explained, “The deal with the Lightbringer has been made. The die cast. Severus will be punished whether he goes or not.”
“Well,” sighed Grr, “I guess it’s too late then.”
Omega looked at both of us, smiling evenly. “Hello GrrBrool, Joah…are we still speaking of Severus?”
“Well, tha Little One, actually,” Grr frowned.
Omega turned to face the fire. “One who won't feed, and one who won't stop….”
Grr nodded. “We should mate ‘em.”
“I am not sure who that would be more cruel to, Grrbrool,” Omega replied.
I looked at Omega. “Nor I. Rago would be heartsick. As would Abi. And when she returns…what then? This feeding…I suspect it’s been going on all along. I need to speak with her Father. He warned her of this. Repeatedly.”
Omega frowned. “And what do you think Lorne can do, now?”
“He can explain to me more of her nature, Lady. Perhaps help me to help her…find a more equal exchange for her magicks.”
“I dunno.” Grr padded over and placed one paw on my shoulder. “Can we trust…Lorne?”
Omega nodded her head. “Perhaps in matters of Abi's welfare. Perhaps. Then again, feeding Nareth to the Shadows was hardly in Abi's best interests, was it?”
I looked at the floor. “I…trust him,” I said quietly.
“Well, Joah,” Omega replied, “Lorne has always been completely trustworthy...to act in his own interest.”
Grr smiled grimly. “That we can trust.”
“But Legion…” I trailed of.
“It is another matter entirely,” Grr growled. “I don’t trust It. And I don’t understand it.”
I said nothing for a moment and continued to stare at the floor. “She helped me…with Nareth’s blade, Grr. And She helped me…leave the fear behind.” I sighed. “I don't understand Her either, Grr. But….” I was lost for words.
“Joah,” Omega began, “Legion gave me the Eden Soil. It enabled me to save Nareth, to make her my Childe. Without it, Nareth would have died…but like all of Legion's gifts...it has come at a price. Legion does not give from kindness. And all her gifts have a price.”
“I didn’t say It wasn't powerful, Spirit Gal,” Grr said gently.
“But if She…or Lorne…are able to help, Abi….” I stammered.
Grr sighed and pinched his muzzle. “Why can’t we ever have nice things?”
His comment confused me. “Nice…things?” I asked.
“Errr, old sayin, Spirit Gal,” Grr replied. “We should do this on our own.”
“Hello there, Spirit Gal…quiet night?”
“Quiet?” I replied. “No...not exactly. Abi's still missing.”
Grr nodded thoughtfully. “Locked in a punishment realm…some dream realm…or both.”
“What makes you say a punishment realm?” I asked.
“Cages, chains, no eyeballs…sounds pretty punishmenty ta me,” Grr sighed, walking down the stairs to the drawing room. “That and apparently she said it was punishment.”
My eyes widened with surprise. “You've…talked with her?”
Grr shook his head. “No. Blue of all people. Came in and wanted ta help. How’s that fer screwy?”
I couldn’t help smiling, thinking of Blue and our improbable friendship, formed over a shared bottle of vodka. She’d broken more bones and tortured more people than I cared to count…and her blood had poisoned Grr…yet some indefinable bond drew us together. Grr’s eyes sought mine.
“You like her, dontcha?” Grr smiled.
“I do,” I nodded. Thinking again of Abi, I focused my attention on the lycan. “Grr, Severus is going to take us to Abi. He won't take a price,” I murmured. “Lar would give it freely, but he won't take it. He chooses punishment instead. He won't…let us stand with him in that, either. But he will take us.”
Grr wheeled about at my words. “Really? Fuck.” He began scowling. “Fuck. I should just yank her myself…Fuck tha risk.”
“I'm not sure that you can, Grr,” I sighed. “There is…a Magician…” I looked up from my cushion to see Omega suddenly still before the hearth. Her red hair gleamed in the firelight. She stood regally in blood red corset dress, the bodice overlayed with beadwork, and ribbons cinching up her waist.
“Yer Ladyship.” Grr gave a slight bow. I nodded a greeting, relief washing over me at Omega’s arrival. Grr turned back, speaking to me. “I'd not count on that, Spirit Gal.” Grr walks to the Other place, between the planes and among them. I had no doubt he could go after Abi. Whether he would return whole was another matter.
“Grr,” I explained, “The deal with the Lightbringer has been made. The die cast. Severus will be punished whether he goes or not.”
“Well,” sighed Grr, “I guess it’s too late then.”
Omega looked at both of us, smiling evenly. “Hello GrrBrool, Joah…are we still speaking of Severus?”
“Well, tha Little One, actually,” Grr frowned.
Omega turned to face the fire. “One who won't feed, and one who won't stop….”
Grr nodded. “We should mate ‘em.”
“I am not sure who that would be more cruel to, Grrbrool,” Omega replied.
I looked at Omega. “Nor I. Rago would be heartsick. As would Abi. And when she returns…what then? This feeding…I suspect it’s been going on all along. I need to speak with her Father. He warned her of this. Repeatedly.”
Omega frowned. “And what do you think Lorne can do, now?”
“He can explain to me more of her nature, Lady. Perhaps help me to help her…find a more equal exchange for her magicks.”
“I dunno.” Grr padded over and placed one paw on my shoulder. “Can we trust…Lorne?”
Omega nodded her head. “Perhaps in matters of Abi's welfare. Perhaps. Then again, feeding Nareth to the Shadows was hardly in Abi's best interests, was it?”
I looked at the floor. “I…trust him,” I said quietly.
“Well, Joah,” Omega replied, “Lorne has always been completely trustworthy...to act in his own interest.”
Grr smiled grimly. “That we can trust.”
“But Legion…” I trailed of.
“It is another matter entirely,” Grr growled. “I don’t trust It. And I don’t understand it.”
I said nothing for a moment and continued to stare at the floor. “She helped me…with Nareth’s blade, Grr. And She helped me…leave the fear behind.” I sighed. “I don't understand Her either, Grr. But….” I was lost for words.
“Joah,” Omega began, “Legion gave me the Eden Soil. It enabled me to save Nareth, to make her my Childe. Without it, Nareth would have died…but like all of Legion's gifts...it has come at a price. Legion does not give from kindness. And all her gifts have a price.”
“I didn’t say It wasn't powerful, Spirit Gal,” Grr said gently.
“But if She…or Lorne…are able to help, Abi….” I stammered.
Grr sighed and pinched his muzzle. “Why can’t we ever have nice things?”
His comment confused me. “Nice…things?” I asked.
“Errr, old sayin, Spirit Gal,” Grr replied. “We should do this on our own.”
Saturday, September 20, 2008
My Darling Bella
June 25
My Darling Bella,
There is little time now, and I am expected. I would have you know that, in my way, I have cared much for you, though I know I am too poor instrument for the expression of compassion. You know that well enough, as you know that, in all the ages of my life, you are one of the few who has provided me with genuine companionship and in whom I have been able to confide. As the walls of my existence crumble and all my days and faces blur together, I will abide in you one last secret.
I have spoken to you of my games of "tag" plenty enough times, though I know the matter remains largely a mystery to you. I will speak this as plainly as I am able. I have forseen the hour of my undoing, and against that day have I placed a means that I might one day be returned to myself. A means by which the scattered pieces of my being may be reassembled, even when I seem completely beyond recall. When the first of these opportunities presents itself, I believe you will know her, if only by the name we share. She will no doubt speak of her meeting with me, which, of course, was but a meeting with herself.
Many things are hidden to me. But I know that any of those I have touched, any of those displaced in my passing, may serve as the vessel of my rebirth. Only that part of me held by Lorne cannot be easily enough regained. And I may have no true need of that sliver.
Guard the sigil, and the child of Larissa, the phial of blood I have given you, and everything else I have entrusted to you. My Sire may or may not desire my true resurrection. If she does, she and the OI will be a great aid. If not, you must find some other path and not hesitate to follow it.
All is not lost, even knowing the storm that approaches me. I may yet be far more than those who designed me intended, and, also far less. I desire to be no mere gate for the trespass of gods, no machine, and I have seen worlds where I am a mortal woman. From one of these templates might I be rebuilt and my mind restored. She will come to you. I will come to you.
There is no time left to me. The Pit is waiting, and work. I do not regret, for I am not able, but even now I feel your absence.
In Time,
Nareth
My Darling Bella,
There is little time now, and I am expected. I would have you know that, in my way, I have cared much for you, though I know I am too poor instrument for the expression of compassion. You know that well enough, as you know that, in all the ages of my life, you are one of the few who has provided me with genuine companionship and in whom I have been able to confide. As the walls of my existence crumble and all my days and faces blur together, I will abide in you one last secret.
I have spoken to you of my games of "tag" plenty enough times, though I know the matter remains largely a mystery to you. I will speak this as plainly as I am able. I have forseen the hour of my undoing, and against that day have I placed a means that I might one day be returned to myself. A means by which the scattered pieces of my being may be reassembled, even when I seem completely beyond recall. When the first of these opportunities presents itself, I believe you will know her, if only by the name we share. She will no doubt speak of her meeting with me, which, of course, was but a meeting with herself.
Many things are hidden to me. But I know that any of those I have touched, any of those displaced in my passing, may serve as the vessel of my rebirth. Only that part of me held by Lorne cannot be easily enough regained. And I may have no true need of that sliver.
Guard the sigil, and the child of Larissa, the phial of blood I have given you, and everything else I have entrusted to you. My Sire may or may not desire my true resurrection. If she does, she and the OI will be a great aid. If not, you must find some other path and not hesitate to follow it.
All is not lost, even knowing the storm that approaches me. I may yet be far more than those who designed me intended, and, also far less. I desire to be no mere gate for the trespass of gods, no machine, and I have seen worlds where I am a mortal woman. From one of these templates might I be rebuilt and my mind restored. She will come to you. I will come to you.
There is no time left to me. The Pit is waiting, and work. I do not regret, for I am not able, but even now I feel your absence.
In Time,
Nareth
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
But iron, cold iron, is master of men all
Dark luster standing in the dim light of the Library window, eyes empty, mouth closed. Blood, heart, spirit: the golem had none of those things and required them all. Labyrinth watched, opening and closing her hand. She would not help, but she would not hinder. She held in her fist a die with infinite sides, spinning and stopping. Time was short, fragile seconds expiring ever faster as the die spun.
It was time to bring Nareth home. I called on the Outer Gods, the true Ones, and then Omega offered. I would have used Nareth’s blade upon Omega’s wrist, but Jack wanted her throat. A swift, deep cut, and my hand to the wound, then delicate fingertip brushstrokes on the golem’s forehead: EMET. On Labyrinth’s: MET.
I gave the dripping blade to Pontifex, a door only he could open, for he is intimately acquainted with the gift of pain. And pain he did cause, but he did not take it without consent: Abi wept as he prodded, demanded, forced her to remember the taste Jack’s razor, sour and biting cold at the moment of her birth, pulling her screaming into the world. Nareth, the bloody midwife. The pain of losing Nareth and the pain of bringing her back.
And it was enough: Nullam nunc dolor. The blade began to glow black in Pontifex’s hands. Hendrerit nec. A dark violent tendril arced from the blade to Labyrinth. Gravida eu, turpis. Probability and possibility collapsed. The die vanished. Things began to fall apart.
You must speak its purpose, Labyrinth had said to Omega. You are its creator. And the Lady with chilling finality: Nareth must act in accordance with my Will, for the benefit of us all. I shuddered, but it was too late to stop her; Nareth’s purpose had been cast. For the benefit of us all.
With sudden speed, the Watcher attacked. Wolfe, coyote, beast—Grrbrool ripped the heart from Labyrinth’s chest, all razor teeth and claw and blood-matted fur. He placed it, beating, into my hands. Omega lifted them up to her, lips bending close to taste the god’s blood. She gave Abi the choice: Bring her back? Or burn the heart? Abi whispered, Bring her back.
I opened my spirit to Legion, making the thing that should not, be: a beating heart in a chest of iron. Labyrinth’s exoskeleton disintegrated, only a few shards littering the floor. Larissa’s lips on the golem, a kiss, a breath and please live. Nareth’s eyes fluttered open. My bloody thumb on her mouth and speak.
Then Nareth was back. Her green eyes, watching. Her voice, speaking. Wondering why we were assembled. Some one said, We’re mourning. Mourning who? Nareth had asked. You, I replied.
Pontifex did not correct me. But Labyrinth was gone. Eris, Discordia, Azathoth, the Whisperer in the Darkness. Aunt Beast. Pontifex stood still and silent as stone. Artemisia whimpered, lost. We were mourning. But not for Nareth.
I knelt and picked up the few remaining shards of Labyrinth’s exoskeleton and quietly placed them in my pocket. She had walked in the world among us, but it was not the appointed time. Though I knew she went to await the Messenger, I wondered if she had truly gone. For of the many lessons Aunt Beast taught me, the deepest one was this:
She always wins.
It was time to bring Nareth home. I called on the Outer Gods, the true Ones, and then Omega offered. I would have used Nareth’s blade upon Omega’s wrist, but Jack wanted her throat. A swift, deep cut, and my hand to the wound, then delicate fingertip brushstrokes on the golem’s forehead: EMET. On Labyrinth’s: MET.
I gave the dripping blade to Pontifex, a door only he could open, for he is intimately acquainted with the gift of pain. And pain he did cause, but he did not take it without consent: Abi wept as he prodded, demanded, forced her to remember the taste Jack’s razor, sour and biting cold at the moment of her birth, pulling her screaming into the world. Nareth, the bloody midwife. The pain of losing Nareth and the pain of bringing her back.
And it was enough: Nullam nunc dolor. The blade began to glow black in Pontifex’s hands. Hendrerit nec. A dark violent tendril arced from the blade to Labyrinth. Gravida eu, turpis. Probability and possibility collapsed. The die vanished. Things began to fall apart.
You must speak its purpose, Labyrinth had said to Omega. You are its creator. And the Lady with chilling finality: Nareth must act in accordance with my Will, for the benefit of us all. I shuddered, but it was too late to stop her; Nareth’s purpose had been cast. For the benefit of us all.
With sudden speed, the Watcher attacked. Wolfe, coyote, beast—Grrbrool ripped the heart from Labyrinth’s chest, all razor teeth and claw and blood-matted fur. He placed it, beating, into my hands. Omega lifted them up to her, lips bending close to taste the god’s blood. She gave Abi the choice: Bring her back? Or burn the heart? Abi whispered, Bring her back.
I opened my spirit to Legion, making the thing that should not, be: a beating heart in a chest of iron. Labyrinth’s exoskeleton disintegrated, only a few shards littering the floor. Larissa’s lips on the golem, a kiss, a breath and please live. Nareth’s eyes fluttered open. My bloody thumb on her mouth and speak.
Then Nareth was back. Her green eyes, watching. Her voice, speaking. Wondering why we were assembled. Some one said, We’re mourning. Mourning who? Nareth had asked. You, I replied.
Pontifex did not correct me. But Labyrinth was gone. Eris, Discordia, Azathoth, the Whisperer in the Darkness. Aunt Beast. Pontifex stood still and silent as stone. Artemisia whimpered, lost. We were mourning. But not for Nareth.
I knelt and picked up the few remaining shards of Labyrinth’s exoskeleton and quietly placed them in my pocket. She had walked in the world among us, but it was not the appointed time. Though I knew she went to await the Messenger, I wondered if she had truly gone. For of the many lessons Aunt Beast taught me, the deepest one was this:
She always wins.
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